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Chapter one Meet again (2)

08:48, 5 November 2008 .. Link

Chapter one Meet again (2)
Xiao Cheng, is eyes one very big? What? Let me call you an elder sister? I heavy five student, 23 year old, graduate just, learn clinical medicine.
I smile, I have already worked for four years, if did not come here, I will plan in the seat of honor of an advertising agency.
Xiao Cheng's eyes one is bigger, say: You look, so young.
I have really smiled, such compliment, can't help being unhappy. But to the back with already eminently and difficult and sulky throwing.
Xiao Cheng old room outside the school rents the next attic, the oblique roof, glass skylight, in the evening, can see starry sky.
Become there desolately, really shocked. This where one room of doctor, is artist's feeling in the room clearly. In bright gay color, the room has separated into two parts bamboo screen or curtain, inside is big low bed and enormous bookshelf, outside is an orange red jade green cushion, a lot of canvases with clearly demarcated color are hung on the wall. Set up easel and spread pen by the corner.
Accepted theory Xiao, I like the canvas.
Have not still really found out.
Doctor and painter, all feel forced to talk about. I have seen Xiao Cheng's hands, long and thin and sane finger, found generality at last, this is a doctor's hand, and the artist's hands too.
I talk about Xiao Cheng, I like Van Gogh's picture, that can not sell out having pity on the artist of a picture before death, it was a treasure unexpectedly behind, I liked so bright and beautiful a color lump, when please paint all over the sunflower for my room, how make people happy flower.
Xiao Cheng says with a smile, OK.
I watch eyes of him, Cheng Xiao, art family all have a few extreme or split, and what the doctor required is careful and rigorous, you are really an interesting child.
Xiao Cheng pats on my head, explore slowly, I am a treasure too.
Xiao Cheng can cook some good food once in a while, let me eat together, ones that live in are not far, distance of ten minutes. I can let him chat, go, play ball is with this child together too once in a while, very easy to forget unhappily. Yes, we have any reason that does not allow oneself happily. Sometimes I will lead to go shopping with desolate hand that become, I like that pair of hands, have small soldier's like that long and thin fingers and ice-cold temperature.
Pay no attention to my trace tall and erectly, even make a telephone call to the family and can not find me, even at dead of night, do not also blame, it is all right that it is safe yet that just confirm me. I think, it is a person that can be jealous to be tall and erect, or, he does not mind me at all, or, he thinks again he there is jealous capital at all. Think about it, grow in the heart out and detest. Go around outside at midnight, or does not answer the call at all.
I ask tall and erectly, do you really love me? Eh? You say! !
The tall and erect answer is forever, baby, don't be childish.
He does not know this my grief of the telephone. I begin to understand the small soldier, understand his my love of suffocating of one layer of parcels originally.
After leaving the small soldier, I no longer believe the love, the thing that then made unpredictable changes, I make all to to absorbed in, transfer the network to love. It is my another spiritual home, I lead off, I am happy, I am sad, only in the network, will find some inspiring feelings. Pour water and take place and stick and pat bricks ceaselessly, fight with people, what joy it is.
I write a lot of characters, there are random notes that have stories, life of three mao type is realized, there is sensationalizing of auntie Qiong Yao too. At that time, did not make a living in one yard of words. Write, just because of thinking, just because that is an only route suitable for leading off. I have honourable work, high income, the thing that this ages there should be, do not only have that multicoloured poisonous weeds. Thought for a time, oneself will not be infected with the love again, this material desire society can not lift the noun of the head most. Remember we often swore in youth, believed forever at that time, ignore how far does it have such a question forever always. Perhaps the love is a kind of injury, is taking this kind of injury, people could learn to grow up.
I play with the characters, it must listen to me manipulating, just as piecing together the building blocks as a child, taking the limitless fulfillment. Write, has not expected someone to understand. The people who read my characters are numerous, will see the message of all kinds every day, they speak characters of me too depressed, see people gasps for breath. And tall and erect, the careless one is passed by, one glances back, been destined a disaster that has no way to escape. Tall and erect in the money order receipt to be signed and returned to the sender seriously after each model of mine, my hardest scar in the heart of hearts of direct attack of words, hit pain warmly.
Say tall and erectly, you are a child of a appearance with fragile strong heart, so sensitive as to arrive at heart.
Said tall and erectly, I liked your article in the past, strong, clear, promising characters.
Say tall and erectly, can there is no injury for ever.
I say, tall and erect, you are wrong, I live very happily, very happy too, I write the melancholy characters, I do the frank thing.
To the person without sense of safety, being seen through is a terrible thing. I had candid and happy and young appearance, once said to a friend oneself was a self-imposed and introversive person, he finishes hearing and laughs heartily, if you are introversive, we are not serious depression. Perhaps I am suitable for working as a performer. World this, Bei Bei know, my heart is already riddled with gaping wounds only.
I am writing ceaselessly, after coming off duty, when fall asleep, steep a cup of dense black coffee, not drinking, is just smelling its taste, it lets me think that is familiar with, warm, let me think the young soldier is also at one's side. Then let the agony spread, and then load them in characters.
Bei Bei is said, the ice is blue, you can't be like this, you should be happy, refuse the characters, should go out to play, you know, forget the painful best method is to make new agony, but forget a person's best method is to try to accept another person.

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